Tiny Lion

I am a descendant of the kings of the land. I am the apex predator. I am sovereign over all my domain.

I am not your “adorable little kitty”, for fuck’s sake. And don’t call me “pretty tabby”.

And don’t lock my Royal Highness out of the most interesting rooms. The one with all the ticking, flashing, humming, fascinating things. I have ways you can’t imagine of getting inside. I explored it all, and tasted all the treats, and fell asleep on the windowsill. I do what I want.

Except something is terribly wrong. The windowsill has swelled, and it’s really far to the ground now. Like, really far. What the hell? I’m glad this cord is here, at least I can get down to that table.

There are giant boxes on here. I don’t remember giant boxes. And they smell like rodents. Holy shit, that’s a giant rat! It’s as big as I am. But…it looks wrong. A giant mouse? What the hell are the humans growing in here? No wonder they didn’t want me to come in.

I’m going back to the snack table. Except it’s gotten really tall. Luckily there’s another cord. All this climbing is hella hard work.

Ooh, I didn’t try this one before. Tastes a little strange. Smells a little strange. What the…I don’t feel right. Everything is shrinking. This is totally unacceptable, and I strongly disapprove. Oh. Wait. This all looks like it did before.

I am a descendant of the kings of the land. I am the apex predator. I am sovereign over all my domain.

Those mice look tasty.